Instaddict - why do I NEED the lovehearts?!

In trying to 'up my online profile' in a bid to make the world aware of me, what I do, and ultimately, pay me to do it, I have started an instagram account. In fact I opened one ages ago because I liked the way it made my pics look. I never hashtagged anything, I didn't look at anyone else pics, I just made pretty pictures and was content.

Then I became unemployed, cough, I mean 'freelance' and the world of social media beckoned. So I dutifully started hashtagging some of my crochet bits and all of a sudden the lovehearts slowly started to appear, then 17 followers (my friends) went up to 18 followers and the chemical addiction properly began. I spent three months in a wild frenzy of trying to gain more followers, but more importantly - the lovehearts. I NEEDed them, they somehow validated my existence, I was so greedy for them I became consumed in posting all the pics I was taking just to get the next loveheart fix. And then the first day I lost a follower... If you'd told me that I would be genuinely heartbroken that someone I didn't know and had never met, wouldn't be interested in seeing pictures of my children playing on the beach I would have laughed in your face. But oh the tragedy! Oh how bereft I was!

I will admit that I am still an instaddict. But I have calmed down. The frenzy is over and now I only post once (ok, maybe twice) a day. I do still spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the best way to take a picture, but as someone that sells an aesthetic object, it's actually been a really valuable process to discover my visual voice.

And yes, last week I did find myself in my pajamas at 8am taking rhubarb porn, but I promise I'm getting better.